The Challenge
Sometimes, when I first wake up, I watch the ghosts from my past playing in the park of my dreams. I watch young people run from the swing to the merry go round and on to the monkey bars.
The kid on the swing lied to me. I used to love him. Those girls on the merry-go-round took advantage of me. My friends are swinging across the monkey bars. I run and join them. We laugh, climb, and swing hand-over-hand above the cavern below us. In my dream, I’m strong, limber, and laughing the whole way across the bars.
Then I open my eyes. The images disappear into wisps of smoke and evaporate in the morning sun.
Today, I have much to do. Mow the grass. Figure out a budget with numbers that never quite fit together. Try and fix the front door that won’t shut … again.
And it’s been two years since death snuck in and stole my mama, my partner. I’m still lonely and I’m not sure what to do about it. I haven’t figured out how to fill the hole in my heart.
The day is pressing in on me, and it hasn’t even started.
Living with ghosts, loneliness, and duty is hard work. I cry thousands of tears and wish hundreds of wishes when I think of my multitude of past mistakes. It doesn’t change one mistake made yesterday.
I’m stuck on the monkey bars going back and forth.
Choosing an “Illusion-Life”
This choice I’m making of fussing over the unchangeable past makes me weary. It’s time to leave the ghosts where they belong, behind me in the park. I’ve allowed feelings and images from my past to consume my today not leaving any space for living right now. I’m existing an illusion-life sprinkled with sadness and worn-out dreams.
Learn The Skill Of “Dream-Doing”
Even though I’m an older woman now, slower and more cautious, I still have dreams. Dreams I couldn’t figure out how to squish into a life filled with the chaos of a husband, growing children, mountains of laundry, thousands of peanut butter sandwiches, and more commitments than time.
I haven’t practiced “dream doing” for so long, I’m not sure how to start.
It’s difficult to jump into a new dream today when my dreams are still full of yesterday.
Possibilities Abound
What if, instead of rehearsing my past, I rehearse my future? What if I shift my focus from dwelling on what I’ve lived and lost, and I focus on the many possibilities available to me today and tomorrow?
But wait …. How do I design a different future? How do I invent a life I’ve never known?
Success Is A Process
The beauty of dreaming is that every day is a new beginning. I used to be discouraged when I wasn’t successful with my first efforts. Silly me. If learning is a process, then success must be a process, right?
Place The Past In The Photo Album of Your Mind And Quit Living There
Today I’m done with old memories and mountains of regrets.
Just For Today, Live Intentionally (Then Do It Again Tomorrow…)
I close my eyes and see a different future. One less hurried and harried. One more intentional. One that has room for different choices.
Write A New “Dream Future”
This morning I’m writing a new “dream future” for myself. I’m rehearsing this future as I go along. I’m allowing rewrites. Exploring new options and opportunities. Enjoying the air of this moment.
Rehearse And Refine Your Dream Future Until It Becomes Your Reality
Will this new rehearsal process work? Of course it will. With refinements over time. Eventually. I’m sure of it.
Possibilities abound.
Onward and upward.
from the Way-Back Machine
Watch for “Becoming Bilingual in 10 Minutes” next Tuesday…
This is a fantastic article! It is the perfect length. I adore the picture of you 2 sisters. I place the past in the photo albums, and get rid of the most negative memories through forgiveness. This is a refreshing 8 step process. Manifesting Made easier by The Energy Prosperity Warrior SIsters. Thank you <3